A couple funny things happened this week and strangely they're actually bringing me comfort.
Hannah sent me this ecard, which could not be more true for me.
This morning the boys and I were playing with some new balls. They're pretty small and we made a game out of hiding them, which always turns into shoving them inside our shirts while we act like we don't know where they've gone. I was lying on the floor and Everett was sitting beside me, the other two running around like monkeys looking for "Hayden's ball." Everett glanced my way, looked down at my chest, squeezed my boob, and asked, "Hayden's ball?"
Naturally I burst out laughing, totally out of control with laughter. When I stopped, he actually did it again, this time giving it not one, but three squeezes! I can only imagine he was trying to figure out if he was feeling the ball or not (NOT). Once I got my composure I explained what that lump was, and that it certainly wasn't Hayden's ball.
The laugh was so welcome, as I'd just been crying in the kitchen. Yesterday was the last day of nursing Hayden. Which means yesterday was the last day I'll nurse a baby. Ever. I've only been nursing him once a day for the past 2 months, but it's still the end of a chapter. I'm very thankful I dragged it out this long, but I'd already gone longer than I'd planned and it was definitely time.
And maybe since I don't need to watch my caffeine intake I'll head to Caribou and get a double espresso or something. Or eat six cans of tuna. Hmm...things I didn't really miss anyway.
I love when we have the presence of mind to laugh at the funniness around us. It helps us not take some of life too seriously. I am believing this is a great message to both of us that even though we will continue to need to let go and it may be emotional, that when we do our children again will remind us that they are moving on and are going to be o.k.