After trying to conceive for the first time for more than two years, everyone made comments about how the next time I should have no problem getting pregnant. They teased me that I'd have a bunch of children close together. Little did they know that it would again take us two years.
Although I did not have secondary infertility (since Catina was conceived with help, this second wait is just another case of good old infertility), I experienced a lot of the same emotions that second time around. I really wanted to live this second journey to a child well. I did the best I could with the desires I had the first time, but I knew there was room for improvement.
That second time around my hope was in Christ and not in a child, and this lesson was mainly learned through your baby, Elisabeth. Life is short, and if we can bring glory to Him with what we do have, than this is where I would and will find true fulfillment. While waiting for June, our second, I struggled with believing people thought I was ungrateful for the child I already had, which of course was not true. If anything, having Catina gave me a desire to love more children and to have siblings for Catina to experience life with!
On my birthday in 2009 I went in to see my specialist to begin another cycle of medical help. We had waited long enough and knew we need "help" again. But since I had a toddler and was working, I was dreading having to fit a million doctor appointments into my schedule.
I walked into the office for an ultrasound and was informed by the front desk nurse that my doctor had suffered a heart attack that morning! Fortunately he was still alive, but I was informed that it was already decided that he would no longer run his practice. I had no doctor. I walked out of the office laughing. I laughed like Sarah. If I didn't laugh I knew I would definitely cry. The stress of figuring all this out was becoming unbearable...and now this!
A few months earlier I had hurt my back and saw a chiropractor for the first time. I continued to receive adjustments for an injury that had happened more than ten years before, and I felt better than ever. With the Lord's help, medical help, and chiropractic care, I was able to see the positive on a pregnancy test for the first time!
Since Catina was conceived with some help, my positive pregnancy for her was confirmed at the clinic after a blood draw. So I never had never seen a positive test before and I couldn't believe my eyes. I used to think that it wasn't possible for me to actually see a positive and often joked that I believed pregnancy tests didn't really work.
(As a side note have to share this video about pregnancy tests that don't work!)
A year after my laughing spell on the front stoop of the fertility clinic, my new baby June laughed for the first time. And, who other than my first baby, Catina, to make her laugh!
I pray those we are interceding for will be able to laugh during this time of waiting and that they'll soon hear the laughter of their little one.
Oh, how I remember the days of the broken pregnancy tests. I don't even want to know how much money I spent on those things over the years. It seems funny now, but of course when you're waiting on a baby it's absolute torture. And I would hang on to that random story of a friend's neighbor's niece who was pregnant EVEN THOUGH the test was negative.
I can imgaine secondary fertility really messing with a woman's mind. She conceives without issue the first time around, and then all of a sudden it isn't happening. Our bodies are such mysteries.
And I'm glad you mentioned how easy some of the "help" can be, like adjustments. Or like a friend of mine who had to go on blood thinners to help the blood flow to her uterus (she'd had multiple miscarriages). Or sometimes it takes much more than that, but you just never know until you try.