Stereotype

Ann,

Does everyone assume at-home moms are lonely?

On Monday morning I took the boys to storytime at our local library. I was planning on meeting a friend but her plans changed.

After the books and singing I got the boys settled with their toys (the incentive for sitting through the aforementioned). I noticed the women next to me chatting and I struck up a conversation with one of them. She asked if I had heard of this particular mom's group and was I interested in being a part of it? She was very kind and explained how nice it was to have an activity option every day and partake in adult conversation, especially since she was at home full time now. I took her business card and out of obligation and said I'd look into it.

After I left I replayed the interaction, trying to put a finger on my discomfort. Is it because I'm usually the one inviting people to things? It is strange to be on the other end I suppose. But as I thought more I realized exactly why it was awkward for me: She assumed I was lonely. Her mention of adult conversation and activities presumed I needed both. She probably saw a tired-looking pregnant lady dragging around three busy boys and assumed my life was isolated and chaotic. I'm not offended by this--she has no idea what my life is like! And after all, I was there alone...and looking tired and pregnant! Come to think of it, when I see another mom alone at storytime I sort of assume she's lonely, so why wouldn't they assume that of me? (And I've even mentioned MY moms group to one of them!)

I don't feel lonely in the least, nor do I feel isolated. But it got me thinking--what picture do people have in their minds when they find out someone is an at-home mom? And do I see myself as "one of them" or do I still feel like there's a stereotype and I don't fit it?

Jen

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Jen,

It's funny because if anything I crave alone time. I understand that you can feel lonely even in a room full of people but it's not something I feel often in this season of life. Sometimes I think a moms group sounds like fun but every day? How do they have the time?!

I've seen this go around Facebook a few times. Funny, eh?

Ann