A Trip to the ER

Jen,

Today I write to you with no encouraging words but just to let you know how I am doing. I am exhausted and deflated. I was hoping my last post would detail the end of the hoopla of life hitting me but, no, it wasn't. I hadn't left the house from this past Thursday until Monday night. Here's why...

We left for Texas the Friday before Thanksgiving and came back that Tuesday. The trip was good, it was just all the traveling. Four planes, three kids, 1000 suitcases (ok so it felt like 1000), weird naps, 1,000 miles of walking (I might not be exaggerating on this one) random food, and the list goes one. My kids did amazing! I don't think there was one meltdown. They love being with their cousins so their favorite stuffed animal could be on fire and they'd be fine. 

Cousins at Sea World!

Wednesday, our first full day home, was going to be a day of rest. June threw up most of the day. We put sheets down randomly on furniture and the rug because you never knew when it was going to happen. The kid never even whimpered! Thanksgiving was a throw-up-free day but June kept complaining about her mouth hurting and started screaming when she ate. Since she is not a complainer I knew it was bad. I took her to the doctor who couldn't find anything wrong. We were waiting for a nurse to come in with June facing me when she got this look in her eye and she puked all over me. From the top of my shirt to the bottom of my pants. The nurse was taking a really long time so I started to yell "Help!" Of course, I didn't want to be too dramatic so I started off just yelling "Excuse me, I need help!" When no one came I just started yelling loudly! The doctor came running and saw me. I didn't want to stand up because I didn't want to get it everywhere. UGH! GROSS!

We laid low on Friday when Friday evening Ada threw up. She had nothing left to give and dry heaved until 1:30am. It was so awful. Saturday she barely ate. I kept her hydrated but by Sunday morning I was growing concerned. Everyone was stir crazy so after two days of telling the girls we couldn't go cut the Christmas tree down Greg decided to take the two older girls and I stayed home with Ada. She would not drink anything. Ada would back bend and shove the bottle away. I finally called the doctor and since she hadn't peed in over 24 hours they told me to take her to the ER.

Searching for the perfect tree! (Photo by Greg Ehlert)

I'll spare you all the details of the ER (i.e. moaning man yelling profanities and policeman delaying an arrest) but let's just say four and half hours and 5 nurses trying to get an IV into Ada wasn't a trip to Candyland. At one point four nurses were each holding a limb tapping away at Ada's veins to find one. They failed four times and then called the pediatric nurse from another floor who tried and failed as well. We then started to give her Pedialyte and she actually took some. The took her blood and found she was dehydrated and her blood sugar was low. 

Ada sleeping on me in the ER.

As of Monday she still was having a hard time drinking anything. I am starting to use the syringe like the doctor suggested to get some liquid in her. She has peed some which is good. Please pray for Ada and pray for me in caring for everything. One moment I am great and the next moment I wonder how we are going to do it. Thank God for Greg who is a true partner!

Ann
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Ann,

I want to push the pause button for you! This is crazy. As if vacation doesn't throw off a family enough, now you have sickies.

Many prayers for Ada and I'm glad to hear that as of Tuesday morning she's eating larger amounts. It's so heartbreaking to have a sick child, especially a baby. Sweet girl.

Love and prayers,

Jen

Giving me a break

Ann,

So in our lifetime of friendship have you picked up on the fact that I'm a bit hard on myself? Well this week I had a little revelation. Here it is:

Give yourself a break.

Stop thinking that

EVERY. SINGLE. MOVE.

has eternal consequence.

That seems contrary to what I'm told in faith-based resources, but since the author doesn't know me personally, it's my job to take every piece of advice with a grain of salt. Since I am SUPER literal and serious, I have GOT TO CHILL OUT if I want to remain a healthy person while I raise these little guys.

Case #1: I'm starting to recognize and accept that some things are for a season. I mentioned to you the other day that I'm in a season where the boys are hard to take grocery shopping. I feel like a lazy mom if I shop without them, and I feel like I'm witholding a good learning experience from them, so I try to just suffer and bring them. But all of a sudden it's occurring to me that I DON'T HAVE TO SUFFER. We can work on this skill later, or in small doses, or who knows when! Sorry to yell but this is a huge weight lifted.

Case #2: Remember when Hayden was a baby and the twins were...well...babies, too? I had trouble taking them anywhere that didn't offer a cart. I recall taking them to a doctor's appointment and calling you crying afterward because it was so hard. Once we were in the room it was fine, but getting a newborn and two 14 month old babies from the car to the waiting room put me over the edge. You asked me if there was anyone who could have helped me and I remember saying "They are my responsibility." I can't recall your exact response but I think it was something like, "You are stupid and stubborn and I want to choke you. ASK FOR HELP."

I'm sure to the casual observer the obvious lesson here seems to be just that (help), but first I had to work through the belief that they're always my responsibility. Of course they are technically, but it doesn't make me negligent to ask for help for ONE APPOINTMENT. (More yelling, sorry). It doesn't mean I'll need help forever, it just means that for that moment, in those circumstances, I needed more hands. Period. No big deal.

I know these seem like small revelations, but I'm starting to recognize the not-so-healthy tapes playing in my head and figure out how to turn the channel. This onceisn't 100% there for me, but I'm definitely making progress!

Jen

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Jen,

This is very good news to hear! I am so glad you are recognizing the need for help in situations. Asking someone to hold the door for you while you try to get three kids into the door of a building is not asking a lot. Yes, I'm referring to the time you took the kids to the doctor by yourself and I'm being sarcastic about how ridiculous you can be. So glad I don't have to yell at you because you seemed to be doing all the yelling (Heh, heh).

It is humbling to ask for help and humbling to receive it. I can say from experience that, although humbling, so many people are longing to be a part of something. I know that you allowing them to help you would bless them and bring a sense of purpose to them. Even the person just holding the door for you is going to feel a little good inside for helping the crazy women with the four kids under three and under. God has called us to love Him and love others but what if we don't allow others to love us? What if we won't receive the love that is being offered?

I definitely will continue to pray that you find out more why its hard to accept help. If I could give you anything it's that. I always wish I lived close so I could help you. I wouldn't wait around for you to ask. I'd force it on you. 

Soon one of your blessings of a friend will be leaving for another state. I know she's been a great help to you and the boys love her. I'm praying for that void to be filled with others around you and that you'd learn what you need for help and how to allow others to do that.

Ann

Catina's Golden Birthday

Jen,

Catina turns six today! She keeps calling it her golden birthday since she's six on the sixth. 

Catina is my baby of faith. Waiting and believing that some day she'd be here and then when she was here sometimes feeling guilty that I wasn't always happy that she was. Being a parent is hard work and when she'd have a temper tantrum or act outright defiant I was beside myself wondering what I did wrong. I've learned since then to not believe the lies that created guilt and to allow myself to be frustrated or disappointed and to pray and consult with Greg on how to be a better help to her.

Picture by Clay Carnill

This past week I helped out at her Halloween party and it was an overwhelming feeling of amazement as the party carried on. I had a few moms come to me to tell me how Catina is the talk at home and how their kids just really love Catina. My response was always the same in stating that Catina loves people and she's a great girl. Every time the mom would reiterate that she was truly special. 

A few weeks ago Catina received a note from a boy that told her he loved her. I wasn't really sure how to take it and when she asked me to read it I read it very casually. I didn't want to make a big deal about the love part but inside I was freaking out a tiny bit. At the Halloween party the little boy's mom told my mom that her son had some behavioral issues and that he was so grateful for Catina for befriending him and that he wanted to express how much he loved her. Really? How sweet is that? Not only that Catina was doing a good job being a friend but that he was appreciative and wanted to let her know. That's incredible!

Picture by Clay Carnill

Catina's teacher has written us a few notes stating how much she loves having Catina in class and that she wishes she could keep her. She describes her as amazing, kind, and smart, and she came up to me at the party and told me that kids want to be around Catina because she shares.

Ever since preschool Greg has done such a great job explaining the purpose of our lives, to love God and to love others. He'd ask Catina daily who she loved at school that day and would ask her to find someone who may need extra help and to love on them. It's one thing for us to teach these things to Catina but at that Halloween party I was overwhelmed by how much Catina is living that out. 

Picture by Clay Carnill

Before the girls go to bed we pray together and we ask them if there is anything they'd like to tell Jesus. Catina's answer every time is "Tell Him I love Him more than anything else!"

What an incredible gift my oldest daughter is! There are times I can be critical and see the things she needs to work on but experiencing a day like the Halloween party I'm reminded about how amazing she is. 

May she continue to love Him with all her heart, soul and mind, and may she always love her neighbor as herself. Be with me in prayer for our children that they will live this out.

Ann
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Ann,

I'm so glad you were able to hear from others what a great girl you're raising. You know how intimidated I am to pass along my faith to my kids, so this is a good lesson for me: Just do it and at some point they start to live it out!

Happy Birthday, Catina!

Jen

In The Trenches: Infertility

Today's guest is Jen's friend, Asta. We love her witty comments and her heart. Her daughter, Stella, sent her paci away to Ada when she gave it up. How sweet is that?

Jen,

I thought I was going to hyperventilate. Could you actually be pregnant with another baby? I checked the text message again, and yep, it was really from you, and no, it didn't seem like a joke. Of course I was ecstatic for you. I've seen you walk through infertility and the loss of your first child (and then thankfully, the births of your boys). I knew this new life meant a lot to you.

But even in the joy, my stomach sank. There are days when motherhood just about does me in, and I only have one child. I can't imagine being you and facing the prospect of four kids under age 4! And yet, what's one of my highest desires right now? It’s to get pregnant and add another child to my already crazy life.

Asta, Stella and hubby Isaac after completing a 5K mud run!

This isn't my first time dealing with infertility. It took several years of trying to finally get pregnant with my daughter, Stella. We've always wanted at least two kids, preferably spaced the "optimal" 2 years apart. Well, Stella turns three soon and I'm not pregnant yet, so obviously God is running late according to MY perfect plans.

The waiting game is different this time around. Thankfully, I do already have a cute little girl living in my house. I'm usually too busy with her to dwell on what I'm missing. One hard part about infertility now is that my life is full of other mommy friends, and there's always somebody announcing a new pregnancy! I see other families with more kids and feel sad that Stella doesn't have a sibling yet.



Over the past few months, God has been working in my heart, and I am mostly at peace with waiting. To get there, I had to deal with some ridiculous lines of thinking. They seem pretty absurd now, but that’s where I was.

Ridiculous thought #1- "The reason I'm not pregnant is because I haven't proven myself as a good mom." It's as if I imagined God looking down on me and saying, "Hmm…that poor dear can hardly handle one kid. I'd better go easy on her and not send another!" Or worse, I must be doing such a horrible job that he's regretting His decision to let me be a mother in the first place.

While there are a lot of things I don't understand about God, I'm 99.9% sure that's not how it works. Lots of people who have NO business being parents have gotten pregnant (and reality TV wouldn't be nearly as entertaining without them). I don't actually believe that only those who are worthy receive joy-filled bundles from the stork. And yet…if I don't watch out, it's easy to feel like I must not deserve another child.

Taking after her dad.

Ridiculous thought #2- "I am such a wimp for thinking that parenting one measly child is hard work." Because I'm not dealing with, say, a newborn AND a toddler at the same time, I have a hard time feeling worthy of the exhaustion that comes with being a mom. My friends with two or more kids are the "real" moms, while I'm stuck back at the rank of "junior" mom.

I'm still wrestling with that thought, because, at the very least, more kids equal more laundry, and that sounds harder to me. The truth I try to hold on to is that God has given me THIS life for a reason. The comparison game can mess with your head no matter what aspect of life you apply it to.

Jen, I would love your prayers as I continue to wait and learn how to deal with God's answer of "maybe, but not yet."

Asta
________

Asta,

I am so thankful for your honesty. You are in the trenches and so many couples can relate (though I wish that weren't the case).

I am also thankful for your friendship and support, and the example of great parenting you've shown me (People, Asta's daughter ASKS for broccoli for breakfast), and how you continue to serve and seek Him in all of this.

Ann and I have had you on our prayer list for a long time and will continue to intercede for you!

Love,

Jen

Stereotype

Ann,

Does everyone assume at-home moms are lonely?

On Monday morning I took the boys to storytime at our local library. I was planning on meeting a friend but her plans changed.

After the books and singing I got the boys settled with their toys (the incentive for sitting through the aforementioned). I noticed the women next to me chatting and I struck up a conversation with one of them. She asked if I had heard of this particular mom's group and was I interested in being a part of it? She was very kind and explained how nice it was to have an activity option every day and partake in adult conversation, especially since she was at home full time now. I took her business card and out of obligation and said I'd look into it.

After I left I replayed the interaction, trying to put a finger on my discomfort. Is it because I'm usually the one inviting people to things? It is strange to be on the other end I suppose. But as I thought more I realized exactly why it was awkward for me: She assumed I was lonely. Her mention of adult conversation and activities presumed I needed both. She probably saw a tired-looking pregnant lady dragging around three busy boys and assumed my life was isolated and chaotic. I'm not offended by this--she has no idea what my life is like! And after all, I was there alone...and looking tired and pregnant! Come to think of it, when I see another mom alone at storytime I sort of assume she's lonely, so why wouldn't they assume that of me? (And I've even mentioned MY moms group to one of them!)

I don't feel lonely in the least, nor do I feel isolated. But it got me thinking--what picture do people have in their minds when they find out someone is an at-home mom? And do I see myself as "one of them" or do I still feel like there's a stereotype and I don't fit it?

Jen

---------------------------

Jen,

It's funny because if anything I crave alone time. I understand that you can feel lonely even in a room full of people but it's not something I feel often in this season of life. Sometimes I think a moms group sounds like fun but every day? How do they have the time?!

I've seen this go around Facebook a few times. Funny, eh?

Ann

How To Tell Your Children About Down Syndrome

Jen,

Recently,a friend asked me how to explain to their child what is Down syndrome. I told her I wasn't exactly sure how to explain it because it's hard for me to wrap my brain around it! It's hard to explain a syndrome that used to limit people and now because of Early Intervention and Medication Intervention people are living two to three times longer than they did before, AND are capable of doing so much more than they ever could before. It's hard to explain a syndrome that talks about an extra chromosome. Um, yeah, like I really get what I chromosome is!

I've recently seen two videos I thought would be good to share. This one you can share with your kids.

I love this next video because it shows great diversity. This you can share with your kids, too. Don't worry there's nothing risky about it! They just might think it's a bit boring.

Our family is constantly learning new things about Down syndrome. For Catina and June, Down syndrome will not be unusual to them. I also believe that children are being taught younger and younger about acceptance of all types of people. It's our job as a parent to show acceptance when we encounter someone who is different than ourselves, and to ask questions and or find out more information to help our kids have a better understanding of those around them. This can help them know how to relate in a positive way.

As our lives progress I'm sure we will learn more about Down syndrome and better ways to explain to others what it means. When we do, I'll be sure to share!

Ann

P.S. To our friends who are "listening" in. This week we have received three requests from women who are waiting for their future children. Please remember to keep those who are trying to get pregnant or waiting for a child in your prayers. It's much appreciated!
______

Ann,

Thanks for the videos!

I wonder if I know how your friend feels about telling her child about Down syndrome. My boys are obsessed with Ada and think (or hope!) every baby they see is her. I know a day will come when I'll need to explain what's different about her, and I feel like in that moment I have the chance to really set a standard for the way they accept others for the rest of their lives and I want to do it right. At the same time, I realize "that moment" has really already happened! I just have to keep those lines of communication open like you're saying.

And many prayers for our friends who are waiting. My heart aches for them and their journey.

Jen

Work At Home Mom

Ann,

I've always felt a little less-than when people comment about women being great multitaskers. I've always known I had trouble multi-tasking, but this phase of life has really brought it to the surface.

What's particularly difficult for me is juggling the day-to-day versus the brain-required tasks. If I have something on my list that I know will consume my brain, it actually BEGINS to consume my brain the minute it hits the list. Even though I know full well I can't even give the task an ounce of energy until kids go to bed or Levi gives me time on the weekend, it will weigh me down like a ton of bricks, making those already-difficult every tasks almost impossible. This is an issue with working out of the house.

I've been doing this freelance work for more than a year now. I am so thankful for the work. We started praying that God would somehow provide more income (even though I wasn't looking for work and Levi's salary was set in stone). A week later I got a call from a previous employer asking me if I could do some projects on the side for him. No coincidence. I love the work and the flexibility; it's actually the perfect scenario for me.

But sometimes the work isn't just PowerPoints and marketing posters, it's laying out a book or going back and forth with printers. Knowing the task is going to require concentration, not to mention parts of my brain that are a little dusty, I start feeling the pressure...and the pressure makes even the most menial of everyday tasks feel like an obstacle to that Brain Task that's coming. Doing laundry feels like a burden because I have this Task waiting for me, nevermind that I know full well I can't touch it until tonight!

Of course I'm learning to manage all of this, but I just completed one of those weeks where my whole family felt this weakness. Thank goodness my husband can crank out some laundry!

Jen

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Jen,

I think its unbelievable all that you do. I'm glad the Lord has given you strength to do it all. You are doing amazing job and I don't believe this is your weakness. You actually got it all done even if Levi did the laundry. I don't doubt that this feels heavy on you and there are times I wish you could quit even though you don't mind the work. I'm glad you and Levi are in it together.

Seriously, Jen, there's nothing that could've made this week better except hiring a sitter and having someone else do the work!

Ann

Oh My Little Ada!

Jen,

Most days I don't dwell on Ada having Down syndrome. I do think about it every day because as a mom I really have to. I think about if I have all her doctor's appointments scheduled; I think about whether or not she's had enough tummy and sitting time each day, if she's held a spoon, if she's tried picking up puffs by herself, etc. Now I do believe a lot of moms who have typical children think about these same things, but I'm thinking about them because I want Ada to reach her highest potential alongside Down syndrome.

Ada is now sitting up and clapping. She seems to be raising her arms when we say "How big is Ada?" At times I wonder if that is an accident but I have to believe she really does get it. She loves to be bounced up and down and will laugh like crazy when I do it. She's eating baby food really well and has started to eat puffs and soft bread. She is constantly up on all fours rocking like she is getting ready to crawl.

So hard to get this girl to smile for the camera because she's obsessed with grabbing it and observing!

Last week I took her for her 9 month appointment and she is a little over 13 pounds. She's still in 3-6 month clothing and can wear 6 months but it's a little baggy on her. It actually works best to wear 3-6 month pants and 6 month tops. You know how much I hate changing bins for clothing the first year of life so most of the time she just either has to go baggy or a bit short. Poor thing!

Her doctor is so pleased with how she is doing. He said she is on the curve in every way for a typical child. This is good news right? But somehow it feels strange to be excited about that. I mean, wonder if she wasn't? She'd still be Ada. We'd still love her. It's in these moments I get confused as to how I should be hoping. Do you hope for the smartest physically fit Down syndrome child who can compete with some typical children? It just seems weird.

Sitting up like a big girl in her crib.

 At the Down syndrome walk this became evident to me. People send me Down syndrome articles and videos all the time. I totally appreciate them. It's great to see. I remember people sending me, and at times still do, all the videos about children who were deaf and could speak well or who turned out to be great musicians. Great for those children and great to know about the different potentials children with these disabilities can reach! At the same time I wonder if my child can't do those things will that be disappointing? I really don't want to be disappointed in them especially if it's not their fault.

It's this weird conflicting emotion that goes on inside of me. When these moments come I remind myself that I just want each of my girls to be the best they can be. To reach their full potential and not the full potential of what their disability is.

Another weird conflicting emotion races through me when someone sends me a video or article about a person who has one of my children's disabilities and says "Wow, can you believe they can do this?" I am surprised at their unbelief and sad that they didn't realize that, yes, these children can do these things. They do them all the time. 

June helping Ada in therapy.

I feel burdened at times of having to be the advocate for the deaf or those with Down syndrome. I don't really want to be the educator but the Lord has placed me in this position and continues to give me in Grace and Patience to share what these children can do and be. Even in this burden, I can become excited about it and think about my future. Will I be someone who leads parents who have children with these disabilities? Will I be able to run an organization that advocates for them? Will I be able to come alongside a parent who is having a hard time dealing with their child's disability?

A few years ago I thought that when my children were a bit older I'd finish my Masters in Counseling. Now I am realizing why I wasn't able to finish that degree and wonder what He has in store for me. The Lord placed these three girls in my home to not only give me the opportunity with Greg to love and raise them, but to change me and put me in a place that will be able to help those around me. Isn't that amazing?!

Thanks, again, for letting me express honestly!

Ann
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Ann,

I love this statement:

When these moments come I remind myself that I just want each of my girls to be the best they can be. To reach their full potential....

I know it's coming from a bit of a different place when your kids have a disability, but it's such a great mantra for all of us parents. Just putting on the blinders to everyone else and wanting them to be the most loving, smartest, joyful version of themselves.

Thanks for making us think!

Jen



 

Today Is June's Day

Jen,

It's me again! Today I'd love to tell you more about June and how I really have this love hate relationship with (almost) three-year-olds. Seriously, LOVE and HATE!

June is my go-with-the-flow-with-a-million-smiles girl. She's very grateful and is constantly saying "thank you" for everything you do or give her. She's had about three tantrums in her entire life and those have all happened within the last couple of weeks. I contribute this to her becoming almost three. I don't understand why people say that two-year-olds are terrible because it's when my girls have turned three that they have realized that they want to be babies AND they want to be big girls all while trying to tell Mommy what to do. 

Dirty face girl saying "hi" to her Auntie.

Now, I am not saying that Juney (that's what we often call her) is never disobedient because she truly is my explorer. She's the one who I find standing on Ada's bum when I enter a room or the one who has peeled off all the wall decals because she wanted to know how that worked. This summer she won a flashlight for having books read to her from the library. Catina won that flashlight weeks and weeks before June, who doesn't have time to sit because she is busy exploring. Also, once June did earn the flashlight she decided she needed to know how it worked and disassembled it until there were no more pieces to come apart. 

This is how I found her flashlight. Don't knock the 80s style sheets! We got them for free. ; )

Every morning we have this little argument about wearing her hearing aids. She covers her ears and says "no hearing aids" and then "no brusha my hair." Yes, she is Italian and says "brusha." Typically once I get the hearing aids in she doesn't bother them, but whenever we obtain new ear molds she decides she doesn't really like them (Maybe because they fit better?) and pulls the aids out it seems EVERY HOUR! This time around she has pulled them out so often that the tubes came out of the molds and now I have to bring her in to get new ones. Thank you, now we need to drive 30 minutes for a screaming appointment to wait two weeks until they are delivered, all to start this all over again.

I go back and forth on whether or not we should be forcing her to wear the aids. I do know the facts that show that if a child wears their aids a majority of the time at a young age that their speech is much better later on in life. This can make me feel guilty at times when I let her wander without them. At the same time, I always wonder if she will grow up and tell me that the reason why she didn't like the aids is that they always made this weird sound in her ear or gave her headaches or were too loud. Ugh, how awful would that be?

My ballerina princess. She is loving ballet class!

Now all of this could be her stage, right? Like when we try going pee pee on the potty and she yells. Yes, she yells "NO CHOCOLATE, MAMA!" OK so chocolate is not an incentive for June to use the restroom. She has decided she wants to be a baby right now and wants me to feed her a sippy cup like a bottle. Once in awhile I will consent to cuddle her. I know this is all the inbetween I'm a baby but I'm a big girl stage. Is the hearing aid issue the same thing? Also, what's up with not going in the potty but wanting to put on her own shoes and socks?

June is graduating soon out of the Early On program and will continue her parent tot class along with going to a speech therapist once a week. Right now her speech therapist comes to our home and plays games with her. In these next weeks we are meeting her in a classroom setting where I am not in the room. They will be testing June for her receptive and verbal language. Although June is talking in full sentences her articulation is hard to understand at times. 

This girl is very hard to get out of bed. At times she pushes my face away or rolls over under the covers.
The opposite of Catina who you might call Tigger in the morning.

We are also concerned she doesn't always understand things. She is very literal which is so much the opposite of me and just like her Dad. If you tell her to ask for something nicely she doesn't realize that she should say "Milk please" and instead will say "Nicely" no matter how many times I try to explain that to ask nicely please to say "please."(Here is where I look into the camera like Jim on The Office.) If you ask her to show you her ballet dance she will point to how to get to ballet even though I try to tell her I want her to show me the steps to the dance. This will be our challenge. Mama is figurative and Juney is very literal. 

Prayers for the ever-dreaded, not-really-happening potty training, speech therapy testing, and for patience with my little explorer.

Ann

_________

Ann,

Never a dull moment! What an example at how siblings can be so different, which of course means we have to change our approach with every single child.

Prayers continue!

Jen

More About Catina Than I Expected

Jen,

A couple of things are on my mind before I get to the point that is lingering in my brain. First off, I've noticed that sometimes I sit down to write to you and start thinking of those who may listen in on our conversation. I don't believe I hold back a whole lot because of who may be listening, but I do consider them when I think I want to write something that I think may be boring or self-centered. The things is, in our friendship, I don't hold back anything conciously. I tell you the boring and the exciting, and sometimes it's the boring stuff I love to tell you most. 

Catina at the cider mill. She even asked to ride the ponies. A former fear!

I want to talk about my children a lot because exciting or not-so-exciting--things are happening. All three are in different stages experiencing different challenges and victories. There is also a lot going on in my heart and brain that I am processing in regards to who I am as a person. So I sit down to write and at times don't even know where to begin. This would be the case today. 

Hopefully in my next post I will be able to share what is changing in my heart and what I am learning, but for today I'd love to share about the three girls. I'd love others' input as well as wanting some to know that they are not alone. Some of this may be "boring" but it's what is important to me!

Catina's school photo. She's so darn photogenic!

Before Catina started kindergarten we prayed for the right teacher for her and God has answered our prayers. This lady is amazing! She's so gentle, loving and full of energy. A week after school began I noticed Catina was running down our block every day after school having to use the restroom...she was not "going" at school. Naturally I became concerned for her health and hoped there wouldn't be an accident to cause embarrassment. I talked with Catina's teacher and she gave us permission to practice after school one in awhile. 

The first time practicing Catina wouldn't even go near the bathroom. I had to carry her and her feet were firmly planted outside the door! She stood in the doorway and watched me wash my hands, walk around the room and I even did a silly dance to show her how it was completely fine to be in the bathroom. Nothing happened that day but we did have a good conversation on the way home about reasons why she didn't like the bathroom which included: it's noisy, dark and that boys pee on the floor (though we aren't used to that in our house).

A drawing Catina drew of her and her sisters. LOVE!

The next week I went back to practice again and she entered the bathroom and even let me shut the door. We danced and laughed and she seemed more comfortable. When we came out of the bathroom one of the para-pros in her classroom asked how we are doing and I let her know what we were "practicing." She was very excited to help with Catina and bent way down to talk to Catina at eye level. She told Catina she was available to help her at any point during the day to try to use the restroom so there is never a reason to be afraid. Catina promised to try the next day with her. 

The next day came and as I walked up to the school Catina and her teacher came out holding hands, coming towards me looking very excited. Catina had used the bathroom. TWICE! And, guess what? She used it twice the next day, too. This all seems trivial in some ways, but this year has been a year of facing fears for Catina and I am so proud of her and grateful that she has been able to face them. Definitely,a life lesson that can be used forever.

Catina likes to take my phone and snap random photos.

I haven't even told you about the things going on with June and Ada but it seems that I should end here and write about the others later this week.

Thanks for being the good friend you are. It's been great being on this journey together even in these "little" things. I've appreciated the texts from friends who wonder how Catina is doing with her bathroom time. You are always sure to ask.

Ann

P.S. I love how I have no idea what you will write before we post our letters and that I get to wake up tomorrow and see your response online. That truly shows how much we trust each other!
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Ann,

During the whole bathroom ordeal I was just so amazed at how patient and calm you were about it all. I think you just trusted that it would happen it time and it did! I hope Catina is super proud of herself. And relieved, in every sense of the word!

Thanks for sharing. Since I'm discovering I have an especially quirky boy in the works I know I'm going to benefit from these lessons. Maybe I'll be calling Catina in a few years asking her to talk him through some of this! (And then they'll become buddies and want to talk on the phone all the time, and before you know it she'll become a Matteson....)

Jen

Mom Knows Best

Ann,

Well, the day has finally come. My three beloved high chairs are gone.

As I've confessed before, I love the security they give (oops, gave) me. While the boys were nestled in their chairs I felt safe to run downstairs and change laundry or even go to the bathroom without fearing bloodshed in my absence.

But they are far too big to be lifted into high chairs, which also makes their recent habit of climbing into them a danger. I'm pretty sure those bars across the legs aren't built to hold 36 pounds of bouncing boy (that's Everett, for the record).

My mom was visiting this week and she suggested moving the table and chairs from their room into the kitchen rather than tackle my complicated idea of turning the high chairs into stools and buying an island built to a specific size...some people will do anything to avoid a little work.

And I'm happy to report they're all doing fine, much better than I expected. As usual, I'm realizing it's me who finds change difficult, not them!

As much as it pains me to admit, I'm glad I listened to my mother.

Jen
 

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Jen,

I never thought about how the high chairs actually gave you a bit of freedom. I have an almost six-year-old who mans the fort when I run somewhere. We've been without a high chair for awhile and now that Ada is sitting up it's coming back out and I'm wanting to cry because of it. The darn thing always seems to be in the way! Funny, how no matter what the change it can be annoying at first.

You have some good little boys there. Cute, too! I'm glad you had your mom around to figure out a new way of eating. 

Ann

Blah, Blah, Blah, Even Though I Know You Want To Know

Jen,

A lot has happened these past two weeks so there is much to share about the girls.

Catina continues to LOVE kindergarten and is disappointed on Saturdays when she is not going. We miss her, though, and June asks for her often throughout the day.

Really the only kink in this whole kindergarten thing is that Catina doesn't like to go to the bathroom in public so she holds it the ENTIRE day. Many of us, including Catina's teacher, are trying to encourage her to give it a try. Her teacher has been so amazing in standing outside the door while she tries but she still hasn't gone. My fear is infection or an accident so hoping this is resolved soon.

A lot is going on with June that is exciting as well. It looks like she will be graduating to a new speech therapy regimine where she will attend a parent tot class with me once a week and then go to a speech therapist on our her own for a 25 minute session. I really think June will stretch and grow as we proceed this way. I'm also really hoping that all works out and her speech therapy can be right after the parent tot class so we can free up another morning. Right now we only have one morning a week free and this really limits our time seeing friends or running errands. For the next few weeks June will be tested for her receptive and verbal language as well as her articulation.

Catina's picture day outfit and June's first day of school get-up.

Today we switched ear molds on June's hearing aids. We used to go to the doctor's office to have those attached for us but our audiologist was nice enough to show me how to do it to save the extra trip. The girls always love playing with the old ear molds and pretending they are audiologists. I've kept all of them from the tiniest until now. It's amazing to see how much ears grow!

I'm waiting for June to want a different color but she doesn't really seem to care so I always pick pink glitter.

Ada had her eye appointment. They told me it would take up to 2 1/2 hours but we were out in 1! She doesn't need glasses right now and although she has an astigmatism, the doctor said that he wouldn't really put her in glasses until she was ready and willing to wear them. Her vision was good enough to not need them. Yay for not having to keep track of glasses!

Ada sleeping in the waiting room as she waits for her eyes to dilate.

I am so grateful for how healthy Ada is. Whenever we would pray for Ada in my womb I never prayed that she wouldn't have Down syndrome but always prayed she'd be healthy. I don't know why the Lord has granted my request but I thank Him and praise Him for doing it!

Ada is now sitting up for moments at a time on her own. She rolls every which way to get herself places and has begun to rock on all fours. Some nights we don't sleep as well because Ada likes to jibber jabber to herself. She's not upset, just talking! I think her and Catina will have a lot in common.

Children's hospital tunnel to the parking garage.

Last but not least I had to share that after seeing my hair look like Farah Fawcett I decided to get bangs and color my hair my red annual fall color. Some of the young guys Greg spends time with call me the hipster Mom now and I'll gladly accept the title minus the vegan food.

Of course when my hair dresser does my hair it looks much straighter but this is the reality of the day to day.

Well, blah, blah, blah with the update but I know you and others like to hear what is going on. In a couple of weeks we will be walking our first Buddy Walk. It's a walk for people with Down syndrome. If any local friends are interested in walking with us you can join our team here. Our team is called Ada's Amigos and we plan to dress up. You can also give money to our walk here. We really haven't told the world about the walk only because it's our first one and we don't want people to feel the pressure to come. On the other hand, I'd hate to have people find out after and wished they were invited.

I'll leave you with this fun giggling video of Ada.

Ann

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Ann,

Thanks for the updates! As often as we talk I didn't know most of this. Guess that proves we don't really get to share a whole lot in our 2-minute phone calls with kids screaming in the background!

Jen

Jen