My favorite part of the day, second only to the periods of happy, content play from our three boys, is the hour after bedtime.
After kids are tucked away, there is a lovely, deafening silence that is a shock to the system compared to the laughs (or screams and cries) from only minutes before. As I scurry around picking up toys and books and milk sippies, I am overcome with gratitude for my day spent with them. Having the chance to reflect on the day allows me to mentally rehearse the moments I will reenact to Levi later that night.
The moment also puts a lump in my throat as I recall the not-so-lovely silence of our home only a couple of years ago. I recall standing in the empty bedroom rocking back and forth, crossing my arms across my chest, trying desperately to imagine the weight of a child snuggled close. I remember praying for the smell of poopy diapers to fill the room, for an abundance of toys that would get caught underfoot. I remember praying for a loud house–a house that I knew would make me as anxious as it would overjoyed! I cannot express with words the gratitude I feel as I experience just that every single day.
I’m feeling especially thankful lately for these priceless moments of reflection that gently put order and perspective to my days, days that can sometimes leave me harried and unsettled.
These are the moments that God is teaching us about and I believe we will learn more than ever this year that thepresent is a present. Thank you for sharing this as a good reminder of how long we prayed for our children and how in the midst of chaos we are grateful for the craziness; not so long ago we were at a standstill with silence as our background noise.
There are two different types of time. Chronos time is what we live in. It’s regular time, it’s one minute at a time, it’s staring down the clock till bedtime time, it’s ten excruciating minutes in the Target line time, it’s four screaming minutes in time out time, it’s two hours till daddy gets home time. Chronos is the hard, slow passing time we parents often live in.
Then there’s Kairos time. Kairos is God’s time. It’s time outside of time. It’s metaphysical time. It’s those magical moments in which time stands still. I have a few of those moments each day. And I cherish them.”
What I am admire about you and hope to emulate is your sense of Kairos time. I am hoping this year I learn to incorporate that more than ever. Next Wednesday is Ash Wednesday which begins the Lenten season. I am asking the Lord to teach us something deeper about this lesson and to help us to apply it to our lives.