I’m really proud of my creation of both a chocolate chip cookie cake and the
token gift given! My friend, Kendra, designed the colors and the cute pregnant
girl image.
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Elephant in the Room
Dear Jen,
So, I’ve been hanging out with some friends and it feels like there is this huge elephant in the room. I am wondering about my baby but don’t want people to judge her before she is even born so I don’t want to tell them. Everyone thinks everything is perfectly normal but I am trying to figure out my emotions. The strongest one coming through is not wanting people to look at her as some sort of freak. I already know she is special and we are so happy to even be having a third child.
When we found out June (our second) was deaf I feared people’s reactions as well. I didn’t always like their reactions and their statements were sometimes so stupid. Most people were more concerned about how her hearing aids would stick out and how she would look rather than the safety of not being able to hear well or her having to work harder than others to speak. I know these were all first reactions and people don’t know what to say but this is what I fear!
Lord, fill me with your grace. This is my prayer.
Ann
So, I’ve been hanging out with some friends and it feels like there is this huge elephant in the room. I am wondering about my baby but don’t want people to judge her before she is even born so I don’t want to tell them. Everyone thinks everything is perfectly normal but I am trying to figure out my emotions. The strongest one coming through is not wanting people to look at her as some sort of freak. I already know she is special and we are so happy to even be having a third child.
When we found out June (our second) was deaf I feared people’s reactions as well. I didn’t always like their reactions and their statements were sometimes so stupid. Most people were more concerned about how her hearing aids would stick out and how she would look rather than the safety of not being able to hear well or her having to work harder than others to speak. I know these were all first reactions and people don’t know what to say but this is what I fear!
Lord, fill me with your grace. This is my prayer.
Ann
Monday, November 21, 2011
Monday, October 24, 2011
Mom Guilt (response)
Jen,
I remember reading a few articles about how to handle things when a new child comes along. One of the pieces of advice I took to heart was to tend to the older child first and then help the younger because for the first year the younger one will not realize they are being “slighted.” So when June was crying because she needed to be fed I would quickly help Catina with something she was asking me for. Catina was receiving the attention she needed and didn’t feel like it was all about the baby. June was able to wait a few more minutes which I believe has taught her to wait patiently even now. Of course, there are exceptions to this every day but I tried to be conscious that baby didn’t always have to come first.
I believe a lot of what you are feeling is false guilt. I can say this only because I know you and how you feel badly for anyone who seems to be alone. It would be one thing if you left one of your kids in a room by themselves all the time but I know that is not the case. Your kids are almost always together and they may get a bit bored or need to be redirected but they are completely fine. A few moments to tend to themselves does teach them a lot.
You are going to hear me talk about counseling a lot but one thing I learned was that you need to tend to yourself as well. When June was born I made it a point that Mommy exercised before we started our day. They learned the habit and did not feel slighted because this is how life was. I was healthier and in turn they were watching Mommy take care of herself. Recently, you posted a Facebook status about how you felt guilty being on the computer when your kids woke up from their nap. There is no reason to feel guilty! You are constantly working and taking a few moments to check your e-mail is not a sin. I will pray that you will stop listening to the lies that are in your head about such things.
Ann
I remember reading a few articles about how to handle things when a new child comes along. One of the pieces of advice I took to heart was to tend to the older child first and then help the younger because for the first year the younger one will not realize they are being “slighted.” So when June was crying because she needed to be fed I would quickly help Catina with something she was asking me for. Catina was receiving the attention she needed and didn’t feel like it was all about the baby. June was able to wait a few more minutes which I believe has taught her to wait patiently even now. Of course, there are exceptions to this every day but I tried to be conscious that baby didn’t always have to come first.
I believe a lot of what you are feeling is false guilt. I can say this only because I know you and how you feel badly for anyone who seems to be alone. It would be one thing if you left one of your kids in a room by themselves all the time but I know that is not the case. Your kids are almost always together and they may get a bit bored or need to be redirected but they are completely fine. A few moments to tend to themselves does teach them a lot.
You are going to hear me talk about counseling a lot but one thing I learned was that you need to tend to yourself as well. When June was born I made it a point that Mommy exercised before we started our day. They learned the habit and did not feel slighted because this is how life was. I was healthier and in turn they were watching Mommy take care of herself. Recently, you posted a Facebook status about how you felt guilty being on the computer when your kids woke up from their nap. There is no reason to feel guilty! You are constantly working and taking a few moments to check your e-mail is not a sin. I will pray that you will stop listening to the lies that are in your head about such things.
Ann
Saturday, October 22, 2011
Mom Guilt
Ann,
I am amazed by how often I feel overwhelmed with guilt as a parent. And we’re not talking about guilt because I got too angry or too strict, we’re talking about guilt because Hayden has to lay on the floor looking all lonely while I tend to the twins, or guilt because I let them watch Dora 3 times a day so I can nurse the baby or get dinner prepared. I feel badly when they seem lonely or pushed aside, and yet logically I know they’re just fine and these things are normal—probably healthy (well, maybe not Dora)! I’m not sure what I think a mom is supposed to do, but I can tell you I feel pretty certain I’m not doing it. I feel like you have so much more balance than I do in this area. I need a new mantra.
Jen
I am amazed by how often I feel overwhelmed with guilt as a parent. And we’re not talking about guilt because I got too angry or too strict, we’re talking about guilt because Hayden has to lay on the floor looking all lonely while I tend to the twins, or guilt because I let them watch Dora 3 times a day so I can nurse the baby or get dinner prepared. I feel badly when they seem lonely or pushed aside, and yet logically I know they’re just fine and these things are normal—probably healthy (well, maybe not Dora)! I’m not sure what I think a mom is supposed to do, but I can tell you I feel pretty certain I’m not doing it. I feel like you have so much more balance than I do in this area. I need a new mantra.
Jen
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Blood Test (response)
Ann,
I’m for telling people about baby’s possible condition, if for no other reason than to not bear the burden alone. If people are asking you about your pregnancy and baby details, it’s going to feel like a big, heavy secret if they don’t know. No matter what, people are going to seem irritating, so that’s a toss-up.
Praying with you,
Jen
I’m for telling people about baby’s possible condition, if for no other reason than to not bear the burden alone. If people are asking you about your pregnancy and baby details, it’s going to feel like a big, heavy secret if they don’t know. No matter what, people are going to seem irritating, so that’s a toss-up.
Praying with you,
Jen
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